Be Careful Which Wold You Feed

Interesting old Cherokee legend that tells us that our state of mind is our choice.
Read it here:
Be Careful Which Wolf You Feed

living downtown

living downtown

my street, more alley
is the shortcut
to every urban pleasure

they pass beneath
the bathroom window

i keep it open
to let in out
out in

i never go
there, into the street
i can hear just fine
from here

which indie films
were the good ones

which chef ventured
too far-out
even for these
pedestrian
nouveau-riche

the last audible
measures from the
live concert
find their way
through the mesh
in my screen

i smoke cigarettes
on the toilet seat
and sing

Walking Home Alone...in the Dark

I just walked home alone...after 2 am...from a bar...half happy...half drunk...I left a former student there...he calls me Mom now...and said he'd be home later....

I actually met a man tonight...he asked for my number...he's younger...as usual...I'll never understand why the younger guys are always the one's to go for me...and I do mean "go for me"...he actually got up and crossed the room to sit at my table and talk to with me for hours...or shout at me, really...why is the music always soooooo loud?

I was annoyed, at first when my adopted student son called and insisted he was coming over for the evening...but, in the end, I am glad to have spent too much money feeding and entertaining him...I need to get out more...I too often forget that all the "life" one could wish for is within walking distance when one lives "downtown"....

I still wonder about leaveing my "son" to find his way "home"...I won't sleep until he's in and safely snuggled in on the couch...you'd think I'd actually birthed him from the way I foster and fawn...

I am typing like a drunk...too much backspacing and spell-checking....

I am so grateful to have had fun this evening...into night...on till morning...and that is good...and sad....

I need to find a cure for reclusive...

Water...yes...drink some water...

and go to bed....with one ear open...listening for the child to settle in....

The Sand to My Pearl

Wow...I have not posted in this blog for a while. The poem below is a snippet from a post on my other blog that just seemed right for this one too:

The Sand to My Pearl

from Sand i learned falling
slowly
eyes wide open
seeing each layer pass
toward the depths of
in love

before i had only known
the quick plunge
into bed
even more quickly wed
then gone

Sand touched me so right
in all the wrong places

i knew love could be
torture
now i know how
to leave the torment
and carry the love
away

Sand scratched
all the old places
where wounds
never sealed
only scarred

Sand taught me to roll
old pain in that womb
where I grow myself
anew
to shine
from behind
wise eyes

the Sand now Pearl
is you


by blue 1/2008