living downtown

living downtown

my street, more alley
is the shortcut
to every urban pleasure

they pass beneath
the bathroom window

i keep it open
to let in out
out in

i never go
there, into the street
i can hear just fine
from here

which indie films
were the good ones

which chef ventured
too far-out
even for these
pedestrian
nouveau-riche

the last audible
measures from the
live concert
find their way
through the mesh
in my screen

i smoke cigarettes
on the toilet seat
and sing

greatest honor

when student becomes
teacher and teacher
student
herein lies
the teacher's
greatest honor

---

tonight I went out with a man
who had but hours ago been a boy
i was rescued from a woman who
thought herself shrewed

i am a mom
i will take care of her
she said

she is MY mom
let me take care of her

and he took possession of me
and we left that place

he had called and told me we were going out
he ordered tequila shots
he ordered & ordered
me to shut up
to stop
living

he told me i lived in the past
he said shhhhhh

we walked on the beach
he said you never answered my question
with a command
that garnered an answer
I gave

he sang
i'm tired and i wanna to go to bed
and gestured
i joined
without choice
we sang
the stars to sleep

he drove
my car

and i am here
NOW
and he is gone

i have been
tamed by my own words

i now am
honored
and
present

no more past

the student is now the teacher

all has passed

contentment & chaos

everything around me is in chaos and i haven't slept in days...
this computer screen is burning behind my closed eyes...
wide open...
closed...
wide open...
closed...

haven't had a shower or eaten a thing...
can't remember...
when is when?

yet

i am so...
so...
so...
so...
so-so...
content

knowing...

everything i have
and everything i haven't got....

i chose....

and i get to keep it
all...

contentment and chaos 'til the day i die...

if i choose...

and i choose...
and i choose...
and i choose...
and
i
choose

........................................................................love

the only thing that isn't here
now...

i choose

love



love love love love love love love,

luv, blue

Prayer of Saint Francis

I am really not much of a Christian...but this is just a beautiful sentiment...not matter its origin:


Prayer of Saint Francis


Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.