I have been getting calls (after calls) from one of my students of late. He used to be my favorite (yeah, I am honest enough with myself and others to admit I am the weak kind of jerk-ass teacher who has favorites).
Time after time (after time), I do not call him back because all I have seen from in the past few months is a needy, soul-sucking wimpy shadow of himself who always wants something (often money) from me...he wants me to sympathize with his own idiocy and and lack of willingness to shut off the broken record player and end his own pity party...I even got the "I'm sorry I've been in a funk and am back to myself" call from him yesterday...I still don't want to call him back...(Even if he has realized he's been a soul-sucking downer of late...his repentance feels like a ruse...I'll just end up at a pity party with a new broken record playing "what a jerk my woes have made me," by the collective consciousness of every lonely self-absorbed jerk symphony--with guest whiner Barbara Streisand...
Then I say to myself...hey I know someone who won't return my calls...I recently shut down my own month long pity party (I traded it for horrific physical pain)...it is nearly impossible to be in true physical agony and continue to host one's own pity party...but why would that someone, or anyone, believe me?...sounds like a ruse...
Well, now I can laugh and say ...cool... THANKS...at least I can use that example to understand... no one wants to spend time staring into the bottom of a never-draining punch cup on the broke ass sofa cushion at someone else's pity party...I WOULD NOT CALL ME BACK EITHER!
Then again...I would never tell me that I would call...when I knew good and well I would not call...either...
I told that pity partying ex-favorite of mine, on the occasion of my last accidentally picking up the phone to find him on the other end, in no uncertain terms, that I would not be helping him. I told him I had to concentrate on healing...I even let him know that he was whining and there was nothing I could do for him as long as that was the place where he chose to dwell...kinda assholish of me...I know...but less tactless than just ignoring him..I think anyway....(and, yeah, he still calls since...hmmmmm...)
but, I would never offer him my help and then just not show up to give it...not because I am a saint...only because I am to self-pride filled to make myself into a lier just to avoid my distaste for pity parties...
Also, I figure...even if I do not want to deal with my ex-favorite...I owe myself the courtesy and dignity of remaining moderately considerate and polite....
...no need to act like and asshole just because I am being one...you know?
The moral of the morality tale????>>>>
Even if you need to protect yourself by being and asshole to others (which can often be as innocent an act on your part as not meeting their unfounded expectations), do not lower yourself as a person by being impolite, inconsiderate or outright lying...you are better than that...you owe yourself the dignity of being disciplined enough to just tell the truth...or at least polite enough to offer plausible excuses as you edge you way toward sneaking out the back door...disciplined enough NOT to say you will call, come, go etc. when you know in your heart that you will not..that is lying...no need to lower yourself to lies...
In other words: Protecting yourself from soul-suckers by any means necessary is as noble as kindness to strangers...so long as...you do the protecting without being inconsiderate or rude...not because the soul-sucker deserves your chivalry...but because you deserve it...how does one put it?>>> because "you are better than that"...so be disciplined enough to forgo using empty promises (which ultimately turn into LIES) just to save your own ass in the moment...YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT!!!
signed...your friendly neighborhood soul-sucker....
No comments:
Post a Comment