stairway to heaven, meditation, & he's gone to atlanata

How long has it been since i last sat in a car and sang the entire song Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin while the guy in the seat next to me played air guitar with his eyes closed? I could not say how long it had been before last night. Sometimes it is great to revert to childhood...it allows one to feel like there may be more life left to come than one might think :-)

I went to meditation class/lecture at the local Buddhist temple on Tuesday...I liked it...I think I will go again next week...my chiropractor was there...he doesn't talk much...well truthfully I think it was my chiropractor who encourage me to go...I need something, ANYTHING, to "ease my worried mind"...

Well, after meditation on Tuesday I went to a goodbye party...the guy who kissed me in go-go booth, took my face in his hands and declared I was the kind of woman a man could fall in love with, marry and stay with for the rest of his life, took me night sailing (well that was something that happened while he was dating my whore of an ex-best-friend actually)...that lovely gentleman is gone...I did get to dance with him one last time (an indulgence my back is still punishing me for today)...he also took the time to shout my name down the bar, in front of everyone (including his girl friend and his parents), then declare that I was "truly beautiful"....

I did not realize that all of the women in the room had some connection to him until he requested that the piano player sing "To All the Girls I've Loved Before"....LOL....at least he danced with his girl friend for that song...

At least I got the chance to tell him how much I had loved the night sailing and thank him for that experience...it still ranks among the best I have had in my whole life...exhilaratingly...truly...and to thank him for being a gentleman...

He asked me, in front of everyone at the piano bar, to come home with him and stay while he slept a bit before heading out on his drive to Atlanta...he played it off like he was joking...but something in his face, after we all finished our laugh, seemed misty and a little sad...like he wished he was kidding...like knowing it would not happen was something he'd always regret...yet not regret

So strange how much little flirtations like ours can truly touch one's heart...we really have not spent very many occasions in one another's company...and he has always been some other girl's guy...but I think we both got some sweet solace out of our genuine, yet unfulfilled, affection for one another...warm yet safe...partly because of our shared, yet unspoken, knowledge that "it" was mutual AND not going to "go anywhere" beyond the flirtation...

I am sad to see him go...even though what I will be missing is not really the man...but the idea of the man...