greatest honor

when student becomes
teacher and teacher
student
herein lies
the teacher's
greatest honor

---

tonight I went out with a man
who had but hours ago been a boy
i was rescued from a woman who
thought herself shrewed

i am a mom
i will take care of her
she said

she is MY mom
let me take care of her

and he took possession of me
and we left that place

he had called and told me we were going out
he ordered tequila shots
he ordered & ordered
me to shut up
to stop
living

he told me i lived in the past
he said shhhhhh

we walked on the beach
he said you never answered my question
with a command
that garnered an answer
I gave

he sang
i'm tired and i wanna to go to bed
and gestured
i joined
without choice
we sang
the stars to sleep

he drove
my car

and i am here
NOW
and he is gone

i have been
tamed by my own words

i now am
honored
and
present

no more past

the student is now the teacher

all has passed

whirlwind day

work from home all morning
beach in the afternoon
oyster bar 1st...actually ate oysters and salad and (badbad) a pina colada

sit on the beach...get chased back by the tide
read...walk...romp in the waves...power walk the knee deep edge of the churning gulf

home...shower...dinner...wine...laugh...change...off to watch the sunset

rainbows laid before me in the wet surf licked beach...tread the hues and marvel at the majesty...a moment of near tearful appreciation for the opportunity just to be...me...

off to the outdoor bar on main street for dessert (badbad)...and a cosmo (sooobad)...

home agian...into pj's in front of the tele...phone rings...up again...dressed again...ALL are gathering 'round the corner at the new watering hole...

down the street around the corner only to be greeted by...SHHHHHH...he's on the phone...

inside unexpected Joe...met a new girl...nice girl...can't stand that tard guy that hangs around with joe...he's got bad vibes about him...flesh crawls when pam rubs his shoulders after joe's...

stay a bit...no more drinks...no more food...whore of an ex-best-friend's ex is off the phone...charming as always...funny funny....he interrogates the new girl...will she marry joe??? when?

ex friend's ex talks to me of the stalker whore and how she seemed diminished and humble when he ran into her...different from her cocky old self...yet he admits that the place she works in prime hunting ground for that rich man she always seeks to snare...poor joey ( different guy...not tonight's joe)

30 mins...enough...time to go...kisses all around..whore's ex critiques roommates lip gloss on his cheeks...turns to me and says, "let me go over here and get something real" (from my glossless lips he means)....kisses (again) on each corner of my mouth...eyes lock...so charming...yet...yet...hmmmm...maybe just not the man for me...

and we're off...

home... back into the pj's...and still have that feeling of a pending, what's next???

signed...for a good time..call...blue

an unposted post from Sunday

no more brunches at Cru!!
they mad our friend sad and she quit
ran into people all day who said it was the worst brunch day ever...cru sucks
--
shopping...hmmm...apparently I wear the wrong clothes and I wear my clothes too big...okay...so the small size doesn't look so bad...but I still wonder if it makes me look like those women I see who apparently have no real insight into how big their own asses actually are...I am weary...my daddy always hated when I put on that small size that actually touches my ass and thighs...my girl friend is not exactly worlds more lady-like and tasteful dresser...and...well sales girls are there to sell things...
--
and the bugs came...the sidewalk carpeted with an undulating layer of winged chaos...can't stay for this...home to change for the rest of "sunday-out"...
--
home to dress for the beach...HA...I don't believe it...she got me out of the house in a bathing suit shorts and a hat...little strappy things on exposed shoulders...of course...my bathing suit is not exactly (at all) revealing...and my shorts are somewhat less than short...but the braless strappy thing...who'd ah thunk...LOL
--
an encounter with the Ritz a la trailer park trash:...she told me we were going to a beach resort to have a drink and some lunch by the water...when we arrived the bugs' invasion had shut down the tiki bar on the beach...we were forced to patronize the indoor "cafe"...what a scene of barely clad silicon, suction, dirty children and beer bellies...jesus christ didn't your momma teach you to cover up at the table...the waitress from the saturday night live version of that late 70's show ALICE...the burger was burnt, the pina colada was mix & rum poured over ice (nasty looking slop)...the view was all tits and ass...and the acoustics all "ya'll can say that again" and "honey, order me another beeeaaR"...thankfully my friend was able to speak that insider restaurant talk to the manager so we could leave without paying for the displeasure of having graced his establishment...
--
a last bit of shopping on the way to the key....there are some things chubby girls just CAN NOT wear...strappy with exposed arms...okay maybe...occasionally...but there is no way in hell sun dresses belong on fat girls!!!...even my friend and the sales girls had to concede that sundress is not my look LOL
--
on the key...Giligan's had the misters running to stay of the swarms...this was definitely a day of pseudo biblical plagues…bar food…more ick….sweet frozen drinks…thanks…saw joey and joey…
--
drum circle…interesting…had been told it was “tribal”…I am not sure which tribe performs its rituals to a 4/4 beat…oh yeah… the white tribe…but at least people were trying to be free…break free…a couple of older men actually looked as though they had not known that people could move with abandon and without shirts until very recently in their lives…it was both joyous and sad to see the 60 something women who had recently garnered the courage o belly dance…why the hell are people so pinned up?...what did someone do to them when they were babies…drums…I love the sound of drums played in a joyous frenzy…drums played with hands…kill the man with the electric guitar!!!
--
much much day…need rest…hope the post is not too much of a mess…no engery for editing…
--
you sleep too….signed….blue