libido

libido...I think mine flees in the presence of men...dancing close...getting kissed, back rubbed...libido...poof...gone...I can grind crotch to crotch on the dance floor...I can feel him get a rise out of the experience...but for me nothing...zip...zero...dry as a desert...unmoved as ice in a freeze...when I am alone, I can think of a man and feel the waves of warmth, the catch of my breath, the wondering what he would feel like on me, in me...i hope libido is not lost completely...maybe this vanishing is just a signal marker...something to make me notice when that man who is capable of causing libido's return arrives...

pondering...blue